Happiness

So, I was checking my e-mail just a few minutes ago. I came across one of my aunt's e-mails. Usually, I don't take time to read her forwarded e-mails but this one caught my curiosity. It was about raising your "happiness quotient". At the end of the article she forwarded there's a tip that I would like to share to my blog readers:

"Try pausing to focus on those things that you> appreciate at the end of a visit, the end of a> meeting, or the end of a day - at work or at home.> Identify three things you are grateful for each time> you ask that question, and watch your happiness> meter rise."

Come to think of it, this IS an effective way to relieve yourself from stress at the end of the day. I've been trying this out whenever I walk my way to the shuttle station on my way home. I have a job wherein performance is measured by the amount of money you bring in. And, I have to admit, it's hard to sell. I'm beginning to see the big picture about the Philippine economy because of this. The product that I'm selling has, no doubt, a lot of promise and people who have seen it recognize it. No. 1 problemo? "no tengo dinero" (no more money). Thus, it brings me back to what I've learned about global capitalism. Yada-yada-yada... I'm not gonna go into details about it's effects...I know you guys will just snore!

So, anyway, back to what I was saying about the happiness quotient. :) At the end of the day, I would feel bad when I think that I didn't do enough to close a sale. I begin to think the shoulda-woulda-coulda way, then feel exhausted by the negativity that pulls down my spirit. Then, I tried to stop myself for a while and analyze what I was doing to myself and what it was doing to my well-being. Maybe one of my bestfriends was right. I was being too hard on myself. I just didn't wanna give myself a break just to realize that. So, I tried to think of my everyday life in a positive angle. I thought of the reasons that keeps me waking up in the morning and go through each day at work and the things in my life that makes me smile. Then, all of a sudden, the other pressing problems seemed insignificant. :)

Whirlweek

I've had a very busy week and it feels like I've gone through a whirlwind. Picking myself up from negativity at work, I thought of setting as much appointments as I could with my clients. Considering the timing that I think everyone's in a working mode already. I try my best to shut my ears to negative thoughts and shield myself from negative vibes. The year started badly for everyone, I think the best way to lessen the burden is to act positively, right?

We heard a shocking news the other day about an old college friend of ours. She was mugged by 3 men and was shot at the back. She was on her way to work at a call center. We later found out that the bullet hit her near the spinal cord. My friends and I rushed to the hospital as soon as we got off from work. We were not able to see her that night for she was in the ICU where she's recovering from a 5-hour operation. Her brothers patiently answered all our questions about what happened. Her brothers told us how tough she was. She was conscious the whole time she waited till she got operated. So, just imagine her lying on her stomach, bullet inside her spine and she was joking around with her brothers! She is indeed a tough girl! We went back to visit her the next day. Funny girl she was, she was already joking around with us too. Thank God, she's alright!

This is why I hate guns. It hurts or even kills innocent people and promotes violence. Whoever those men are, they'll get their karma someday...soon!

Despite the negative emotions I've been going through, people have been commenting that I'm "blooming". I remember hearing someone say that ever since the gig I seemed more happy. I take it as a comment eventhough it kinda feels weird hearing that at this point in time. Don't get me wrong though, I am happy about some things in my life. I am happy about the band, my friend's recovery from a gun shot wound, a friend who's love life regained color, a friend who finally found a job, and to see an old friend. But, there are still some pressing issues in my life that I can't control. Sometimes I think that to get through it, I must keep moving on and living my life. But, what if somewhere along the way, I missed something that I should have taken into thought? That is what keeps me holding back to letting go.

Well...so much for a lot of things going on in my head... This is all for now. I have to go through another week and hopefully I'll survive 'til the next week end..

We're Back In Business!

Last night's gig was a blast! I am so proud of Aine, John, Carlo, and Jihan. :) We proved to ourselves that we can still rock even if there were some glitches and last minute changes. After several months of improving our craft in late-night practices and rough recordings, we were able to come back on stage with hard-core, hard-rockin' beats. The crowd welcomed us with cheer and head-bangin' approval as we performed. Jihan had the most fans! I must say, that this production was the first time I really had fun singing. I felt 'kilig' when I heard some people in the crowd asking for more. I felt the rush of energy in my veins as I sang every high note and soulful tune. The feeling was incredible!

There will be a couple more gigs lined up for the next few months. I hope my suggestion to put up a mini production in the summer will push through. It's to help our choir raise funds for the year's expenses and raise funds for donation to the tsunami victims as well. Wish us luck!

Silent Observer

Nope. You didn't miss anything at the office, Dr. Clunky. It was just an observation I had with people nowadays. I'm talking about people in the corporate world in general. There are a lot of other beautiful lines in the book that really makes you step back and think about your life in a more deeper perspective. I really recommend the book "Tuesdays With Morrie" to my friends because it's the perfect book that keeps you grounded and think about the more important things in life. Things that really mattered. Sometimes it makes me think that things would've been better if money was never invented. Life would've been simpler.

Dear Ol' Morrie...

Just wanna share one of my favorite lines in the book, "Tuesdays With Morrie".

"People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking at only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture."

"The culture we have does not make people good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say, if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

True...true...

Blurb...Blurb...Blurb...

Couldn't think of much to write tonight. I know I haven't been posting any new entries here often but I try my best to update. I guess I am overwhelmed by the things that are happening lately that I find it hard to even think of where to start. I usually stay up late going over my thoughts. I keep a personal diary in my closet where every detail of my thoughts and my life's events are stored. The only person who ever got near my diaries (accidentally, that is) was my bestfriend. I guess I still wanna keep my private life private. Heh..sounds familiar...It's where I release all sadness, frustrations, confusions, anger...yes,guys...I am capable of getting angry too...and, of course, secrets. Don't worry, JP and Jan. I'm used to your insults. I'm not pikon about it. So nothing bad written in my diary about you guys...hehehe...

Oh,yeah...another thought I wanna write about. There's this thought about revealing feelings to someone you like even if that someone is in a relationship. People would always say, "Ok lang yan! Di pa naman kasal e!" That's alright! He/She is not married yet anyway! I would politely oppose to that thought, no matter how tempting it is in my situation. I would always think of myself if I were in the position of the other person. I think that is what always kept me from saying what I really felt about him after all these years. Besides, I was never really sure about what he felt. My friends would say that I'm the one who is in denial that there is something in there and that I just didn't wanna see it. I didn't want things to get too complicated. Especially when you're good friends with one another. I respect what relationship he is in now. I always believed in weighing things before making a major decision or move. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Snagging someone else's guy was never my game and I wouldn't like it either if someone were to steal my man away from me. So what if it would take a looong time before the right time comes? As long as he's happy with his life right now, I'm happy. That's what friends should be, right? And, "love is never selfish nor jealous..." I'm not being a martyr.

Thanks again to Dr. Clunky for sharing his thoughts! Kina-career! Hahaha! Maybe we should do a radio talk show someday! Waddya think? Sorry I wasn't able to give you a bar of chocolate. I forgot...well...ok...so maybe I got hungry when I was on my way to the office...Don't worry, I'll make up for that! Hehehe...

Cool...We have upcoming gigs this month and one on February! Any rockistas out there?! Come and watch our gigs! In addition to that, we have already uploaded 3 of our original songs in Soundclick.com and two of our songs are already in the charts! Woohoo!

I'm Getting Married...daw

I remember having a conversation with a close friend about marriage and relationships. It brought me back to the different discoveries I made in working and meeting different people in life. I've heard different stories about love, sex, and marriage. It's what I get from being exposed to older people in the work place or even hanging out with liberated people. Let's just say I get around getting along with different kinds of people. I must say all of the stories I've heard are intriguing, interesting, and, I must say, insightful. It's funny though, I don't appear like I know too much about this area. I have a friend at work who was surprised when I get to understand some green jokes and some of the "green linggos" that are used.

Anyways, we talked about the ideal age when to get married. I used to think that my ideal age to get married is at 25. When I graduated from college and started working, I realized that it's not advisable to have a deadline to get married. You might just end up with the wrong person. Dr. Clunky may be right when he said that I might not be ready for Mr. Right. I may have felt that I have found him but I know that now may not be the right time for us. (I'm not talking about the latest guy I went out with.) I told my friend that, anything's possible and that the future is uncertain.

My aunt talked to me about marriage. She said that I should help out at home first before getting married. Then she said, "Don't get into a relationship muna." Deep inside, I was like "What the hell?!" I'm 23 years old! I'm not in high school! Well, I look like it(tarush!)...but...that also means that I shouldn't get married--ever! I stopped myself from giving her a wide-eyed look. It might just make her go on and on about depressing realities about marriage. I don't think scaring me about it will prevent me from committing myself to someone. Eventhough I've had my heart broken several times, I learned that what's important is that you were able to share a part of yourself to someone and that is one of the greatest feeling you could ever have in falling in love. I know I came from a family of divorces but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't enjoy one of God's gift. Sometimes I just laugh about my mom and my aunts worrying about me getting married soon. I don't even wanna get married yet! I think about it sometimes but I'm far from even planning one. I have to look for Mr. Right first. One thing that I don't wanna happen to me is end up being an old maid.

By the way, thanks to Dr. Clunky for his comments! Finding you're comment in my blogspot was a surprise and they are indeed insightful! Yeah, I know I shouldn't get too stressed about work. I think I pressure myself too much. You're the letter of the month! Congratulations! Your comments are the longest! Remind me to treat you for a bar of chocolate for your prize! hehehe!

And the story goes on...

2004 had a bit of a tough ending for me and 2005 started with more depressing realities. But, hey, there are still things in my life that makes me smile. I keep telling myself to be strong and just be understanding of other people's short-comings. A close friend of mine asked me what my New Year's resolution was. I told him that a lot of people have been telling me to toughen up and stand up for myself. I thought that it could be a good resolution. He jokingly said, "Sige, awayin mo lahat ng tao." Go ahead,fight with everyone! Kidding aside, I told him that I don't like generating negative energy with anyone because it's tiring to argue and staying mad at someone. He said that I don't have to argue with everyone all the time. But after New Year's Eve dinner, I thought that it's better to be more understanding, patient, and forgiving to people.

These painful realities makes me all the more mellowed down at work. Heartbreak,confusion,pain,disappointments... I know it's bad that it's affecting me this way. I'm fighting it by looking at the brighter side of life and reminding myself to be strong. I know this is the quarter-life crisis that I'm going though.

About matters of the heart...well..that's a long story. I was disillusioned about a guy. Thought he was sincere about his intentions. I still gave him the benefit of the doubt. But, when we finally got to communicate again, he proved me right. He wasn't at all. It's sad though...I grew to like him. Only to find out that everything was just a play.