Hopeful About the Future
Sometimes, you want to just completely shut yourself from one person that keeps you hanging about a friendship that's already crossing the line between just friends and more than friends. Being the girl, I just don't know what to think of this situation that's been going on since time immemorial. I wouldn't want to assume because I am not really sure about what he really feels. What keeps me holding back is that he already told me years back that he's saving his heart for someone else. That kinda makes me unsure about his real intentions when he's being extra sweet. I like his sweet ways, but I need to know if he's doing that because he really has good intentions from the bottom of his heart or if he's just in need of a mean-time girl. I don't know how to confront him or if I should because doing that might make things awkward between us. It might not be the right thing to do at this point in time. On the other hand, him, as the guy in the situation, might not be sure what he really feels inside. Thus, being distant lately and concentrating on his career. It could be possible. But another possibility that I'm dreading is that what if he's also seeing another girl and is also sweet like he is to me? I can never be too sure about his intentions because he's friends with a lot of girls. I'm going through that cycle of thinking and analyzing complicated situations again. It drives me crazy and keeps me awake for many nights. After that, I just drop the thought and leave things be. It's beginning to stress me out because I've been through this a million times. I've been thinking of the pros of this situation so as not to be dragged down by depression. Being single is not so bad...focusing on my career is a must for growth...These are the things that I keep reminding myself. We both got the promotion that we were praying for. And with that, we've been more distant to each other because we're both dedicated to our work that we don't talk nor see each other as often as before. I feel like I don't know him anymore and I've changed a lot since the last time we saw each other. Only the feelings never changed inside me. Will our careers keep us farther apart? I hope not. But, I'm seeing that as a possibility. What I can only pray and hope for is that he'll look for me again one day and find me. And when that happens, I hope it won't be too late for us.
Overwhelmed
Last Sunday afternoon, I went to Portofino with my Mom and younger brother, Lorenzo, to check out the developments in it and the empty lot of my Tita Marivic. It was a perfect Sunday afternoon. It was cool and sunny with a bit of cotton clouds in the sky. As we reached the place, I was transported to another world. It was like a vision in my day dreams of what a good place to live should look like. The style of the houses were a mix of European and Spanish structuring. There were some islands of greenery on some places which makes the place more like a place in Beverly Hills. I loved it! I wish that someday I could buy a house here when I get married. :)******************************I have been dealing with a lot of changes in the office and the possible changes that I have to do to myself. For the past years, after I've stepped down as the president of the choir, I have been afraid to take on a leadership role. I was scared of what changes that might occur in me because I was too conscious of how people wouid deal with me personally. I was afraid that they might not be able to separate and understand the duties and responsiblities that I have to act on and what I am as a person. This is no longer the Devil Wears Prada chapter. I will no longer be trained to dress well and how to deal with clients. I am past that already. What I am being trained to do now is how to take the duties and responsibilities of a supervisor. Just a week ago, I was promoted as the Advertising Supervisor. It costed a stir on some people, questioning my promotion. I couldn't say that I was shocked, more like, overwhelmed. One, because it's a BIG responsibility and two, it's a BIG challenge. I started meeting with my boss about the plans for next year and also started to take some of the responsiblities as the Advertising Supervisor. My boss has been preparing me for the challenges that will come when it comes to the people that will be under me and also the higher quota that I have to reach every month. I have been thinking ahead of the possible challenges that I have to face and changes that I have to undergo. I know that I will shock a lot of people later in the near future. I keep telling myself to learn how to be tough and firm with being fair with everyone in the team. I know what each of them is capable so I have to be really alert in everything. I just pray that I will be able to handle the challenges that will come later on.*************************************************************I was feeling nostalgic lately. I dunno. Maybe it's the good weather that we have lately. The afternoons these days are cool and sunny. It brings me back to what I missed about my childhood. These are the random things that I really miss:1. Sneaking out in the middle of afternoon siesta just to play with Mara at their house in Bogambilya.2. Going to the park with LuAnne and Abbie on summer afternoons.3. Going to the tennis clinic early summer mornings and coming home through the sunny alleyway beside our house. 4. Spending summer nights practicing a cheer dance and volleyball for the summer sportsfest.5. Driving lessons and pep talks with my father.6. High School days...7. Swimming practices on summer afternoons.8. Trick or Treating with village friends.9. Christmases with my cousins Louie, Edmund, Francis, Trisha, Marisse, Virgil, and Baby Carmella.10. Being spoilt by my father with books and chocolates.*Sigh* I miss those days...
How To Touch A Girl by Jojo
[Verse 1:] I think I could like you, I already do. Feelings can grow, but they can go away too. You're taking my hand, looking into my eyes. Don't be in a rush to get me tonight. I feel something happening; could this be a spark? To satisfy me baby, you gotta satisfy my heart. [Chorus:] Do you know How to Touch a Girl? If you want me so much, first I have to know: Are you thoughtful and kind? Do you care what's on my mind? Or am I just for show? You'll go far in this world if you know How to Touch a Girl. [Verse 2:] I think I could like you, but I keep holding back, 'cause I can't seem to tell if you're fiction or fact. Show me you can laugh, show me you can cry. Show me who you really are, deep down inside. Do you feel something happening? Could this be for real? I don't know right now, but tonight we'll reveal: [Chorus:] Do you know How to Touch a Girl? If you want me so much, first I have to know: Are you thoughtful and kind? Do you care what's on my mind? Or am I just for show? You'll go far in this world if you know How to Touch a Girl. [Bridge:] Bring me some flowers, Conversation for hours, to see if we really connect, and baby, if we do, I'll be giving all my love to you! [Chorus:] Do you know How to Touch a Girl? If you want me so much, first I have to know: Are you thoughtful and kind? Do you care what's on my mind? Or am I just for show? You'll go far in this world if you know How to Touch a Girl...
