The Edge

With so many things going on at the same time, I get overwhelmed with things that need to be done and realities that I have to face. Friends would notice that I'm driving myself to the edge, while inside I feel like what I do is not enough. It scares me sometimes that I could be blindly driving myself over the edge.

I got to talk to a friend from Davao who's coming over on April. We've been talking about plans of going to the beach, ideally in Puerto Galera. When we talked about it again, I just remembered that I can't just go on leave. I don't think that I deserve to go on leave yet. It breaks my heart to turn down a nice beach vacation. I think I got too excited over the thought of going to the beach again. I checked myself over and I realized that I'm being selfish again.

I'm currently taking "a break" during the Holy Week but I couldn't let myself just lay in bed. I planned on catching up with my jogging and unfinished business with church activities. Sometimes I just want to stop and have a good cry but I was taught to stay strong during difficult times. I remember my Papa when he gave me one of his "talks" duirng a difficult time in high school. He said, "Don't cry over it! You will never get through life by just crying! Don't run away from your problems, just think of solutions and take responsibility." I hear his voice reminding me of that day whenever I loose control over my tears.