Feeling Lousy
I'm writing this while I'm freezing inside our little aquarium called the Advertising Department. It's only a few minutes before the clock strikes six. I'm feeling lousy, ugly, and fat. I just ate five cinnamon sticks with matching rich and thick chocolate syrup. And to think that I ignored Nana's whining hunger awhile ago. I tried hard to read what was on my agenda list and all I hear is Nana wailing with her puppy dog eyes saying, "Be-eel!!! I'm hungry!!! Let's eat down stairs!" I was still pretending not to hear her for I've been eating too much. I'm only supposed to eat three times a day. Not ten times! I keep on repeating to myself, "I am not gonna stress eat...I'm not gonna stress eat!!!" She looked over my shoulder to see what I was doing. I was writing notes, jotting down appointments, and going over my list of clients to call. I feel like my life is hanging on a string these days. I only closed one account for the magazine I'm promoting and I'm also feeling desperate. She asked me, "Bel! What are you doing?" I blurted out, "Organizing my life!"
I pondered over my interview a few days ago at one of the biggest advertising companies here in the Philippines. It was a good interview--actually, it went too well from what I had expected. That interview was supposed to be scheduled the week before but I couldn't make it since we had to deliver magazines to Laguna. I called up the HRD person to ask for a re-schedule of the interview because I couldn't do anything about my schedule that week. She told me over the phone about the conditions of going through the training and when it's gonna be. The training starts on Aug. 22. I counted the weeks before that day. She sensed the hesitation on my voice because she knows that it's too soon for me to jump into the opportunity. And, to think that they will only provide allowance for food and transportation. She said that the reason why she's telling me all this is that she wants to know how open I am to the offer. I had to be honest and told her that I am very open to the job offer it's just that I need a competitive salary because I am supporting my family. She said that she still wants to interview me but for exploration on what department she could place me in. I talked to my mom about it because I know that she might not approve of it and my immediate concern right now is to get a better paying job so I can help out more at home. She told me that it was for long term career anywway and told me to go with it. I got so confused because I've been sacrificing my ideal jobs to what ideal salary she wants me to get. I got upset and told her that I've been looking for jobs that would fit her standards because she would always put the pressure on me that I haven't been helping out enough at home. AAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! From then on, I told myself that I will follow my own decisions when my instincts and intuition tell me that it is right.
So, I finally went to the interview. The HRD person was really nice to accommodate me even for another interview. After assessing me about the job I do and the history of my working experience, she told me that I was over qualified for the training. I was flattered and at the same time shocked at her comment. She told me that I don't need to go through the training because I already have the foundation and the potentials. If they were to hire me then they would have to place on the position of junior media planner right away. But the thing was they don't have an opening for a junior media planner yet. The opening was only for trainees. Oh, well, I thought. I think it's just not the right time to leave my present job. But I'm still keeping my options open.
I pondered over my interview a few days ago at one of the biggest advertising companies here in the Philippines. It was a good interview--actually, it went too well from what I had expected. That interview was supposed to be scheduled the week before but I couldn't make it since we had to deliver magazines to Laguna. I called up the HRD person to ask for a re-schedule of the interview because I couldn't do anything about my schedule that week. She told me over the phone about the conditions of going through the training and when it's gonna be. The training starts on Aug. 22. I counted the weeks before that day. She sensed the hesitation on my voice because she knows that it's too soon for me to jump into the opportunity. And, to think that they will only provide allowance for food and transportation. She said that the reason why she's telling me all this is that she wants to know how open I am to the offer. I had to be honest and told her that I am very open to the job offer it's just that I need a competitive salary because I am supporting my family. She said that she still wants to interview me but for exploration on what department she could place me in. I talked to my mom about it because I know that she might not approve of it and my immediate concern right now is to get a better paying job so I can help out more at home. She told me that it was for long term career anywway and told me to go with it. I got so confused because I've been sacrificing my ideal jobs to what ideal salary she wants me to get. I got upset and told her that I've been looking for jobs that would fit her standards because she would always put the pressure on me that I haven't been helping out enough at home. AAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! From then on, I told myself that I will follow my own decisions when my instincts and intuition tell me that it is right.
So, I finally went to the interview. The HRD person was really nice to accommodate me even for another interview. After assessing me about the job I do and the history of my working experience, she told me that I was over qualified for the training. I was flattered and at the same time shocked at her comment. She told me that I don't need to go through the training because I already have the foundation and the potentials. If they were to hire me then they would have to place on the position of junior media planner right away. But the thing was they don't have an opening for a junior media planner yet. The opening was only for trainees. Oh, well, I thought. I think it's just not the right time to leave my present job. But I'm still keeping my options open.
posted by Summer at
2:36 AM
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