Losing Connection

I have buried myself with work just to divert my thoughts and emotions. I laughed, stressed myself over work, and kept myself busy at home by doing chores. It did help, but I thought these distractions would make me numb for a long time. As the week end came, I began to feel the pain setting in. Damn, I'm missing him. I am beginning to feel like I'm losing this special connection I always knew. I keep on asking the same questions and finding possible reasons why we have come again to a gray area where I'm confused about . There's only one answer to it and I just didn't want to face it. He's just not into me.

Maybe, we're just meant to be friends after all.

I am once again trapped in my own secret. I guess I should just keep it and put it back to where I stored it away. Maybe things would different in another lifetime.

It's going to be a challenge to open myself up to other possibilities. I tried eyeing other guys for boyfriend material. And you know what, I still couldn't find anyone who could make me feel that same spark I felt when I first met him. I don't want to date just any other guy because I've learned my lesson from the past. I let go of him and dated guys that came my way because they said the things I longed to hear from him. Both guys ended up just trampling on my foolish heart.

But, we'll see... I know it's still too early to say that I'm never going to find Mr. Right...