Fade Away

If you were wondering if he and I did go out for coffee, well, we didn't. It took me weeks to get the courage to write about it because I find myself dismissing the thought. Maybe it's because it said so much about how he feels and how he treats me. I find myself asking so many questions but couldn't bring myself to tell him. I told myself that day that I shouldn't expect for him to remember nor text me to confirm. I told myself that this time, I won't be the one who will be texting because he was the one who invited me. What hurt was that what I had expected was true and how it tells so much about what he really feels. The previous Sunday was just an illusion. It was misleading. As the song goes, "My imagination just stole me away". I felt so lost...and I still feel that way. I thought that my intuition felt so right that night and the other times we've spent together. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we were never meant to be...

He can't seem to tell me what he wants. He does peculiar things that really confuses me and at the same time makes me fall in love with him all over again. But, in the end, I am left hanging with the mystery of what his true intentions are. Yes, he's one great friend, and I value our friendship. It's just that lately, these feelings I have kept for years have gone deeper to the core of my soul and it has been implanted to my whole being. I've turned down guys for him for crying out loud!

Maybe it's time to move on and, this time, never look back.

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