Numb

He reached for my hand and held it as he drove us to work. I couldn't feel anything...I wanted to cry... It's been a long time since we last saw each other. The electricity that I used to feel everytime he would hold my hand had died down. I couldn't feel even his presence. He seems like he's in a distant planet. I don't know what's going on in his mind. Was I just being dense? Was it the early morning? Or did I just die that moment? He seemed a bit different now. I couldn't feel him in my heart even through the touch of his hand. I kissed him goodbye eventhough he didn't greet me with a kiss when he picked me up at my house like he used to do. I appreciated him for a being a really great friend for going out of his way to bring me to work early in the morning.

That was a month ago... Nowadays, we haven't been talking that much. I guess because we were both busy. As usual, I went home alone and bought flowers for my mom last Valentines Day. I tried not to think about it and contain my heart with this kind of situation. I told myself not to expect anything special that day just to make the pain easier to bear inside my heart. But, as the day passed, it already said a lot of things about what he really feels. Silence means there's nothing about me inside his heart. I felt like a fool not realizing it after being in love with him for so many years. Maybe it was a good thing I didn't tell him or it would've made things complicated and awkward in our friendship. Maybe he doesn't feel the same way. Maybe I have mis-interpreted his actions. I don't know... I wish he never did anything to make me fall in love with him.

I've always dreamed that he would see me differently but he only saw me as a friend. I guess this is the last time I'll ever say, "I'm moving on without him..."

And before I end this long saga about our friendship and all the mystery behind it, I leave it all with the song that I've been wanting to sing to him if fate decides that we would be together:


Make Me Whole (Amel Larrieux)

Darling I want you to listen
I stayed up all night,
so I could get this thing right
And I don't think there's anything missing
Cause a person like you,
made it easy to do
I've waited for so long,
to sing to you this song

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me,
said you're just what she needs
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

You make my dreams
Come true over and, over again
And I honestly truly believe
You and me are written in the stars
I live my whole life through
To giving thanks to you
Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole